DUAL / DUEL lens
~ rival concepts competing for space in the duplex structure between our ears, or is it whatever he/she hears?
What connects us, and how does it intertwine with what divides us?
Amid life's journey, we middle-aged men often find ourselves at a self-imposed crossroads divide; where identity and purpose are expected to intersect, granting us a renewed zest for life.
Some trade in their old lives for new beginnings of a different partner, a flashy car, or perhaps they buy an interesting hat.
There's an expectation among many of my peers that their partners will be cheerfully along for the ride, unwavering in their support. They genuinely believe this. Their partners, however, maybe not so much …
The ambitions of our youth have long given way to the realities of career pressures, family responsibilities, and time’s relentless march.
As the accumulated years behind us start to outnumber those ahead, we grapple with questions about our achievements, our place in the world, and what the future holds.
For some, there's a quiet reckoning, a search for meaning beyond the roles we've inhabited for so long. Reassessing values and contemplating legacy become unavoidable.
Do we need help navigating this terrain? And if we do, where should we seek it?
Conversations with women in our lives have given me some insight. From their perspective, we appear to be navigating an intricate emotional landscape. They notice the subtle shifts—the moments of introspection, the hints of restlessness, the unspoken doubts that surface in quiet moments. In the early days of our relationships, when everything was fresh and hopeful, they might have wondered how best to offer support, and how to bridge the gaps in understanding.
They may have seen us as deserving of encouragement and "proactive nudging" to not only face challenges but also embrace opportunities for growth and renewed connection. But realistically, how long can one support someone seemingly lost in a self-centred mid-life crisis?
This dual lens - of how we see ourselves and how the women in our lives perceive us - can be a complex interplay of mutual self-discovery and empathy or a descent down a steep path ill-suited for the unprepared.
Most of us acknowledge this a journey we could take alone, but one we don’t want to.
Whether we see that clearly is questionable - because we live sometimes in the small community of denial or the larger village of avoidance.
As Yogi so wisely reminds us:
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. - Yogi Berra
I publish this Musings column daily and post poems, short stories and other ‘plus/+’ content weekly. Many of you enjoy this content for free, and I truly appreciate your readership. Paid subscriptions are modest: $8 monthly (26¢ a day), $72 annually (20¢ a day), or you can donate any amount. Paid subscribers get extra content, but everyone is welcome - your presence matters. But if you haven't yet become a paid subscriber, I'd be grateful if you'd consider it. Thank you for reading Musings, and thanks to Substack for supporting writers like me. Warm regards, Mark
This week’s bonus [Musings+] postings for PAID subscribers:
SHORT STORY: RECIPE FOR MURDER ~ POEM: DIRECTNESS
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